Wednesday, April 27, 2016

How’s Your Hula Hoop? Healthy Boundaries






How’s Your Hula Hoop? Healthy Boundaries

“My mother is always telling me what to do, and then she wonders why I don’t call her more often,” my client sighed as she wiped away tears of frustration.“Do you tell her that you’d prefer her not to do that?” I prodded gently. “No! I can’t talk back to my mother,” she replied, shocked

All of us have personal space that we must protect from invasion by others and most of us are aware that our bodies belong to us. This is why we recognize that it’s not OK to force or coerce our children into hugging or kissing people against their will. Our bodies are ours alone.

We realize we should protect our physical space from those who get closer or more physical than we’d prefer, but do you know that you have emotional space that belongs to you as well? I use the hula hoop as an illustration of this.

My feelings, my decisions, my consequences…
As an adult, it’s my right to determine my own life. Imagine a hula hoop worn by each of us. Inside that hoop are decisions such as when you sleep, what you eat, whether or not you exercise, take care of yourself, whether or not you attend worship, have hobbies, political or religious beliefs, how you raise your children-well, you get the idea.
When we start to tell people our opinions about how they choose in these areas, we are jumping their hoop and getting into the space that rightly belongs to them. When we allow others to criticize or lecture us about our choices, we allow invasion into our hula hoop as well. This causes insecurity, resentment, and the presence of control.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me…

Keeping our opinions to ourselves about the life choices of other adults is part of respecting the freedom we all have to live our lives the way we see fit. Saying a firm but friendly “hey, that’s my call about how I live my life, so let’s talk about something else” is essential to taking care of YOU.
 I can help you with assertive and kind answers to keeping others out of your hula hoop. Let’s get started!

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Alcohol Use—or Overuse? Screening Questions to Consider






Alcohol Use—or Overuse? Screening Questions to Consider

Have you ever wondered if, or been told that, you drink too much? Contrary to popular opinion, there are standards by which professional therapists measure and diagnose whether or not your use falls into troublesome levels. These standards are based on research produced by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

 It’s not just drinking daily-- if it’s no more than 1 daily drink a week for a woman and two for a man, it’s generally not considered problematic—but also HOW MUCH at one time. So, even if you only drink once a month, IF you drink in excess of more than 4 drinks for a man or 3 for a woman in one day, you can be considered alcohol-dependent, have alcohol related problems, or be at risk. Medical, behavioral, and family history will all be taken into consideration. Further testing, such as the SASSI (Substance Abuse Subtle Screening Inventory) may be done by your therapist.

Fill out this form below and submit to your therapist for further evaluation. Take that first step toward your best YOU!

  1. On average, how many days a week do you drink alcohol? ____________
  2. On a typical day when you drink, how many do you have? ____________
  3. On any given day, what is the maximum number of drinks you had in the past month? _________
  4. Have you ever felt you should CUT DOWN on your drinking?  Yes    No ____
  5. Have people ANNOYED you by criticizing your drinking? Yes    No   _______
  6. Have you ever felt bad or GUIILTY about your drinking? Yes   No _______
  7. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover?  Yes  No _______
  8. If YES to any of these: has this occurred in the past YEAR?  Yes   No ______