Monday, June 27, 2016

Counseling and Anger Management for Microaggressions

Microaggressions occur when someone has casually done or said something subtle to you that in their mind are innocent, yet because you are in a minority group, it is offensive. These are not things that are overtly, undeniably offensive or racist, yet you are left with a feeling of frustration, anger, and even confusion over whether or not you are imagining things, and if the person was intentionally being offensive, sexist or racist. These harmful, albeit unintentional slights are what are known as microagressions. Let’s examine them more closely and offer hope to their victims.

Microaggressions Are an Evolving Taxonomy of Discrimination

Microaggressions happen so frequently, that over time, they eat away at victims’ minds and spirits. The term was first introduced by Harvard professor of education and psychiatry, Chester M. Pierce in the 1970’s, to describe the constant little harmful remarks and slights people of color endured from those who didn’t even realize they were being racist.

Damaging Microaggressions Can Be Dealt With in Counseling

Since then, psychology experts published in American Psychologist, argue that these insidious “little” insults permeate all aspects of our society, causing long-term damage to people who have been marginalized in some way by society. These folks need individual counseling, anger management, education and other types of counseling to undo the harmful effects of repeated microaggressions.

L. Kay Byers is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor (LPC-S) that specializes in counseling, individual counseling, anger management therapies and more to help her clients deal with the negative effects of microaggressions — and psychological issues of all kinds — from a Christian perspective. L. Kay Byers and her counseling associates have the experience and sensitivity to help people know that they are not “making it up” and being overly sensitive. Demystifying and identifying different types of microaggressions such as back-handed compliments, racist or sexist jokes, assumptions about people with disabilities and gender roles helps people confirm that their feelings are valid, which are critical in any type of counseling or anger management therapy.

The Pain of Discrimination Can Be Eased Through
Anger Management and Counseling
Through the counseling and anger management counseling that L. Kay Byers and her counseling associates provide, patients will learn common sense ways to deal with this covert form of discrimination, no matter who the offender may be; bosses, co-workers, strangers, law enforcement officials and even family members can all be perpetrators of microaggressions. Restoring the self-worth and dignity of their patients is a major goal in the counseling psychological practices and individual counseling activities L. Kay Byers provides.

Through anger management and other individual counseling efforts, the patient will learn the skills and emotional presence to address microaggressions as they occur, without compromising their integrity or values. One important counseling technique L. Kay Byers, LPC-S, and her staff employ is to make sure the victim realizes that their feelings are of higher value than the offender in these cases, even when the perpetrator isn’t aware of their offensiveness. While ambiguity about intent can be a troubling factor to the victim of microaggressions, L. Kay Byers and her counseling associates make it clear that any case where a person’s identity with race, culture, gender or self-worth is degraded is not acceptable, regardless of intent or lack thereof.

Everyone needs help and counseling from time to time. Victims of microaggressions often need professional counseling to provide validation and the coping skills necessary to recover and protect from any future damage. Let L. Kay Byers provide the anger management, and individual counseling people need to help them start feeling better again.  

Call 214 546-4514 for an appointment now!

Monday, June 20, 2016

Is It Love or a Red Flag? Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship


  1. Push for quick involvement: comes on very strong, pressures for an exclusive commitment almost immediately. 
  2. Jealousy: Excessively possessive: calls constantly, visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone:” checks your mileage. 
  3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely, especially if you’re late, about whom you talked to and where you were. Keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything. 
  4. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect woman and meet his every need. 
  5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses your supporters of “causing trouble;” deprives you of a phone or car.
  6. Blames others: for his problems and mistakes: The boss, you—it’s always someone else’s’ fault.
  7. Makes everyone else responsible for his feelings: says, you make me angry” instead of “I AM angry,” or, “you’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you. 
  8. Hypersensitivity: Easily insulted, claiming his feelings are hurt when he is really mad; rants about things that are just part of life. 
  9. Cruel to animals or children: kills or punishes animals brutally; expects children to do things that are beyond their ability, i.e. whips a two year old for wetting a diaper; teases children until they cry. SIXTY FIVE PERCENT OF ABUSERS WHO HIT THEIR PARTNER WILL ALSO HIT CHILDREN. 
  10. Playful” use of force during sex: enjoys throwing you down, holding you down against your will; says he finds the idea of rape exciting. 
  11. Verbal abuse: constant criticism, says cruel or hurtful things; degrades, curses you, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse. 
  12. Rigid gender roles: expects you to serve, obey and remain at home. 
  13. Sudden mood swings: switches from sweetly loving to explosive in a matter of minutes. 
  14. Past battering: admits hitting women in the past, but says they made him do it or the situation was to blame. 
  15. Threats of violence: makes statements like “I’ll break your neck” or “I’ll kill you,” then dismisses it with “everybody talks that way, you’re too sensitive” or “I didn’t mean it.” IF IT HAS COME THIS FAR, GET HELP OR GET OUT.

From the Project for Victims of Family Violence, Lafayette, ARK