by D. Harrison, PhD
1. Save your major worries until about midnight, then start
heavy thinking. Suggested topics include your age, losing your job, the mistake
you made at work last week that they haven’t discovered yet, that suspicious
wart you’ve had for five years, or radon in your basement. You can work up a
good panic by 1 AM.
2. Keep an inventory of your faults. Ignore strengths. Focus
only on your bad points. Try to select friends who will remind you of how awful
you are. If you don’t have friends like this, you probably have some relative
who can be counted on to point out your weaknesses.
3. Set unreasonable goals. No matter how much money you
earn, remember there are others doing better. Try to name three of them, preferably
younger and better looking than you. Think how others could do a better job.
4. When your children make mistakes, don’t accept it as part
of growing up. View each situation as the first sign of impending moral decay,
delinquency and a wasted life.
5. Put off everything until the last minute. In this way,
you can create a sense of frenzy and chronic stress no matter how much time you
had in the first place.
6. Aid and abet the creation of stress. Sleep as little as
possible. Eat junk. Drink a lot of coffee. Never exercise if you can help it.
7. Never let others know how you feel or what you want. You
shouldn’t have to tell them: they should be able to read your mind. If you
assume this, you stand a good chance of feeling deprived.
8. Never trust anyone, particularly a counselor. Struggle
with problems alone. If you feel the urge to confide in someone who seems to
care, remind yourself that people are basically no good and are out only for
themselves. Convince yourself that asking for help is a sign of weakness and
that you can tough it out alone.
9. Never take a vacation. It’s a luxury you can’t afford,
especially if you’re working up to a really good state of exhaustion.
If you follow this
program, you have a good chance of feeling really rotten in no time at all!
If you are ready to take action, give us a call! 214 546 4514 or visit our website at:
http://www.kbyers.com
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